Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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