I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
