are you still at the devil's house?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
