You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
