fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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