So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
