I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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