I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
