butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
