The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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