Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
