i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
