on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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