Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize