hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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