haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
