Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize