So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
