Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
