I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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