I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
