im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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