I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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