I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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