she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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