so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
