I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize