I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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