Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
