life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
