I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
