Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
