oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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