I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
