Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize