May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
