The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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