Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
