Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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