$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
