it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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