the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
