...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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