I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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