ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
