But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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