Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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