we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
