Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
