Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
