did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
