I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
