distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize