I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
