So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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