We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
