Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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