he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I am one with the molecules
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
