Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
