It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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