Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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