So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
