I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I look better un-naked...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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