would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Come see our sink grown plant.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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