If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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