I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
