so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize